Useful facts: 1

You can't sneak up on a sleeping dolphin, so don't even try.

Signs you're an alcoholic: 1

"It used to be that when you took a shot of Rumplemintz you had to remember not to swish. Now when you are gargling mouthwash you have to remember not to swallow."

-Paraphrased from Ray Pawulich.

Don't be that guy: 3

If you have to say something to someone who is walking out the door, make sure to keep it short. If they are jangling their keys, cease speaking immediately.